Ocean Park, Puerto Rico 1513
The year was 1513.
Two vampires, The Empress and Vampire By Thy Name Rich,
had just arrived in this new land of Puerto Rico.
They were sipping charred citrus margaritas made with organic smoke, infused mezcal, at the oasis of this new land, Numero Uno, When the idea came forth.
"We shall start a camp of the finest, most cultured vampires that exist.
No section of the galaxy shall be left unsearched.
When we have assembled them, we shall create the most grand, marvelous,
and awe-inspiring experiences, in the middle of the desert.
Let us go forth now, and begin this extraordinary task.
Then it shall come to exist by thy name
The Vampire Empire.
And for eternity shall it exist, just like vampires."
Vampires and CRSBT
Vampires exist in their own time zone, heretofore known as Caribbean Romanian Standard Burner Time (CRSBT). Vampires take their time and lavish in their labors, wether the mater be fine dining or love making. All top shelf, really.
Over 600 years of toiling later, in 2022, these vampires were assembled for the first experience of The Vampire Empire. At Burning Man, in the Black Rock Desert somewhere near 9:15 and J.
They drank the finest champagnes, dined on gourmet Wuhan Bat Market pizza and made the finest love. They danced their asses off to Rominimal, the music of vampires from their indigenous homeland of Romania. All under the canopy of the star lit desert night sky and funkttion 1 sound - the secret sub 20hz signal that summons all vampires.
It was deemed GREAT SUCCESS and that this new cult of vampires shall exist eternally.
A Dazzle Of Information About Us
While we are indeed vampires, we are bright, fun, vampires.
We dine and serve the finest pizza to the denizens of Black Rock City, all made on playa from scratch. Wuhan Bat Market Pizza. The ratings are in and they are ★★★★★.
The Italian camp said "Ce pula mea! These vampires make our pizza look like communist era bread line pizza. WTF!? Where did they come from? We shall eat only their pizza. Forever."
We host The Church of Funktion 1 at The Vampire Empire. And we don't quite identify with the dark vampire cults of goth, emo, etc. If that is your flavor of vampire experience, our vampire chakras probably won't align. Instead you will have to endure awesome, hypnotic 24/7 Rominimal or Transilvanian Imperial Techno. [sad goth face emoji].
